Have you ever loved and lost?
by ionalama
Summary: I Am going out with Draco'I told him,'I can't love you'then I whispered in his ear 'but I do.' Much better than this review sounds,rated M just encase! PLease RR
1. Rich and stuck up?

Have you ever loved and lost?

This is a drama filled fiction about living and falling in love at Hogwarts.

I fell for him the day we met I think, though I don't know for certain. He was gorgeous and he always made me feel so comfortable around him. Why didn't I tell him? I didn't want to cry and I wanted to love Draco.

I have loved and lost. I loved a man killed by Voldemort, just by mistake. He kills for fun he destroyed my hope, my dreams and my life. Now I know my love died for Harry, to let him escape and continue to defeat the dark side. I can understand why he died for Harry but I will never forgive Harry, never. I think Ginny understands, but she will never admit it, for fear of hurting me more. Now I am on Voldemorts hit list and I won't last for long, I know. I will take as many Death Eaters with me but I will do it from afar, somehow detached, not do it for survival but so I can hurt him in some way, for the hurt he caused me. Now I don't care if I die I am past that I feel as though I am immortal. I can stand the cruciatas curse not many can make that claim. I will explain to you in this account my life, from just before Hogwarts to now or, until my death.

(AN: Bit dramatic huh?)

I was a rich spoilt child when I was younger, I was beautiful and I knew it; I lived in the idyllic Muggle town of Brill. It was just North of Milton Keens, and all the rich and titled lived. I was tich and I had long silky black/brown hair and deep green eyes. I always plaited my hair and with my clear white complexion I was almost doll like. I had never known anything but the best, and I didn't associate with the poor until I had to first school. The reason I had to go to this school was that there were no boarding schools near where we lived and my mother couldn't bear to send me away. So I was sent to the village school. I had a tailored uniform and I was shocked when I saw a child with a tattered hand- me –down uniform. I suppose it was a wake up call from my world. The girl with the tattered uniform was Ruth, as she promptly told me. I ignored her, refused to talk to her apart from in one word sentences. I was the richest girl in the school and I wasn't going to forget. However mean I was to her, however, Ruth wasn't mean back. She seemed to let the words wash over her and never stopped smiling. I found that I had a respect for her; she wasn't like the people that had followed me round before. They were hoping for a nice present for me or a chance to go in my limo. She was different. Gradually over a few days I came to like her and I let her more and more into my world. She changed me, I became more aware of the people suffering in the world, and I realised that there was more to life than money. A few years later we moved to primary school, always together never separated. With my family I was more outgoing, less spoilt. For Christmas I asked for something from Oxfam unwrapped, something for the poor. I realise now that my parents hated the new me, now I was livelier and had formed my own opinions. I think they thought I was now going to run away and join Greenpeace. The thought however never crossed my mind.

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A few years later we had to sit our 11+ I wasn't worried, either I would pass or my parents would send me too a expensive private school far away. Just when I found out I had passed my 11+ with full grades, my letter came and Professor McGonagall came calling.

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So what do you think? Good/Bad review anyway please! Thanks very much to Ruth for the help and I promise it will lighten up a bit soon! And the chapters will get longer and have more detail, This is just so you could understand the story. I will describe her more next chapter, has anyone guessed the boy? Not Harry and not Ron. And the girl isn't Hermione!

Please review! Luv

Iona

xxx


	2. Meeting the Weasleys

Meeting the Weasleys 

I realised that I hadn't written a disclaimer-

I don't own any of this except the plot. That is mine! **evil laugh**

**No one has reviewed this yet SOB so please review if you can't email me! Thanx so much Iona x**

We were sitting at breakfast, eating smoked salmon. My father and Mother were drinking Champagne since they had got very drunk at a party last night. I thought they were permanently drunk for one reason or another. I became bored with my mothers constant withering. So I looked around at the breakfast room. It was a light salmon pink; my mother loved the colour, even more than my fathers' money. I liked the deep Oakwood cup boarding of this room. The silverware had already been polished today and was shining brightly. I could hear the maids whispering in the servants' kitchen, probably complaining about my mother.

I silently rose from my carefully crafted oak chair and moved to the window, my clothes hanging off my thin frame. I looked out, the morning was glorious the sun was shining brightly and there were no clouds, maybe I would go riding today. The lawns were covered in Jew, which gave the field a rippling effect.

As I watched I noticed a large owl flying downwards toward the window. I hoped it wouldn't bang in to it. As it flew closer I noticed that it was infact and owl. I looked on as it flew through to window and started to tap it's beak against the glass. I was shocked for a second but then I quickly opened the window. It dropped a letter onto, my lap. It said

To Ms. Miranda Microsoft Missenden House Brill Milton Keynes Bucks HP0 OG6 

The owl had flown back through the window and into the distance before I could recover from my shock. My mother rushed over,

'Darling what is the matter, you are quite pale.'

'Nothing mother' I replied, staring in shock at the un-opened letter in my hand. She tested my temperature quickly and then steered me out the room shouting to my father that I was ill and would have to spend the day in bed. As soon as we were outside the door, she started murmuring to herself,

'I wondered when it would come, was almost too late!'

'Mother, what is wrong' I said to her in the same tone I used with any one who annoyed me. We reached by bedroom and I immediately felt safer, its light blue walls, en-suite bathroom and my dressing room were all in their places. My mother sat down on my beautifully made bed and said

'Sweetie, you're a witch, we have to go and get your things, and we'll be going to London to get your things. Then tomorrow you will have to go to Hogwarts on the Hogwarts express. 'She then turned to the door and rung the bell for my maid, when she arrived she told her to send any stranger women to arrived up to my bedroom. I sank onto the bed and opened the letter, it said

_Ms. Miranda, _

_You have been admitted to Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry. We hope you will join us there in September, Please remember that first years aren't allowed brooms. _

_Yours truly _

_Albus Dumbledore_

When I had finished reading the strictest women I had ever seen entered. Her hair was tied up in a tight bun and she was wearing a long skirt and a loose baggy jacket that looked as if it had come from Primark (AN: I love Primark so no disrespect!). She stopped as she saw my mother and gave a small smile, and said

'Maria! We thought you had gone to Canada!' My mother gave a small sad smile and said,

'I'm sorry Minerva, I decided to marry a muggle millionaire, stay away from the magic world, and he broke my heart.' I wondered who had broken her heart and what a muggle was. Before I had a chance to ask, Minerva turned to me, she spoke in a thin crisp voice, one that sounded used to being obeyed,

'I had come to take you to Diagon alley and buy your school stuff. However since your mother can take you I will let her do the honours. She handed me a ticket which said-'the Hogwarts express, leaving September the 21st platform 9 and ¾.' She turned to go and then turned to my mother quickly,

'Owl me Maria, I want to hear from you.' With this last statement she left and my mother seemed startled from her sudden trance.

'Right, I am going to flo the Weasleys now and we will go there' I didn't answer, I was too much in shock and too surprised to say anything at all. I was a witch.

Despite this shocking thought. I was desperate to know what was going on. My mother called up another servant, who was informed to pack my most casual clothes. she curtsied and left. I still loved clothes, even after my friendship with Ruth. My mother then went to the fireplace and took a handful of green dust. She turned to me and said conversationally

'I keep a supply of flo powder with me all the time.' I just looked at her my mouth hanging open slightly. She looked at me and told me to change into something better fitting. I went to my wardrobe and changed into a short-ish green skirt and a white t-shirt. I brushed through my long brown hair and looked at my peerless face in the mirror. My mother came up behind me and said

'Darling you are quite beautiful, don't worry.' I admitted that I did look rather good, though I wasn't beautiful. She turned to the fireplace again and threw the power into the grate. A green burst of flames burst there, beautiful intense green. I blinked slightly; my mother had just stuck her head in the flames. 'Mrs. Weasley' I heard her call, they chatted for about a minute before my mother beckoned me forward and I too stuck my head in the flames. Before me I saw several large red heads, one smaller one and a girl my age, there was also one dark-haired boy and the two parents. They were all staring at me with fascination. I spoke quite suddenly to them the words just slipping out of my mouth,

'Don't you know it is rude to stare?'

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Please review

Luv Iona


	3. Finding a relation

Finding a cousin

I finally an up-date!

I was away in Ireland for the weekend. Fell of my horse 3 times. Hurt my back. But nothing will prevent me from updating.

On with the story..

I OWN NONE OF THIS

Thanks to:

Swirlywhirlynutcase – Thanx soph, yer I do

Misskilljoy – sorry it is not, will do a story wiv Hermione in though

To any1 who didn't have to go 2 skool 2day, we do tomz

As soon as I said this everyone turned round and pretend to be doing something. My mother stepped out the fire and hugged the woman, the mother I assumed.

'Molly dear how lovely it is to see you! My mother exclaimed, they hugged and started chatting about the good old days. I sighed stepped out the fireplace and plonked myself down opposite to the black haired boy. He looked up at me and said

'Hi I am Harry Potter' I smiled at him and replied

'The pleasures mine, I'm sure.' The boy sitting next to him gave a whimper, it was the one who had been eating so messily earlier so I turned and gave him a glare,

'What is it Mr….'

'Weasley' Harry supplied. I smiled at him and repeated my question

'What is it Mr. Weasley?'

'You're the spitting image'

'Well of course I am the sitting image of her, she is my mother.' I was starting to get annoyed with this stupid boy, he obviously had no idea. I was exactly the same as my mother. We had the same black hair, though mine was straight and we had the same hazel eyes.

'No of him, Harry' Ron said glaring back at me. By this time the whole table was watching the argument. My mother suddenly rushed up to Harry and said

'Are you Harry Potter?' The whole room was now silent.

'Yes' He replied, looking shocked at all the attention.

'Son of James and Lily?'

'Yes'

My mother screamed and hugged him.

'I have been looking out for you for so long! Always hoping I could find you, knowing that you would be living with petunia, at the same time hiding from the wizarding world. Oh Harry.' I decided I had had enough, I wanted an explanation

'Mother what is going on.'

'Yes, what is' squeaked Harry

'Oh and Mother you are strangling Harry.' She let go immediately and sat down in the chair next to Harry's. She took a deep breath and started

'I am James Potter's sister. I loved him and Lily as brother and sister. Just after they got married, I decided to leave the Wizarding world, for reasons I will not explain. I used not wanting to be killed by Voldermort as an excuse though, I am sorry Harry.'

That made me and Harry cousins; I had always wanted a cousin!

'Yes' I jumped up and ran round the table. I gave him a massive hug. Mrs. Weasley and my mother started to cry, but the rest of the Weasley's just sat there looking shocked. I let go of Harry kissed him on the cheek. I held onto his hand, unable to believe he was real. He still looked shell-shocked but introduced me to the rest of the table, clinging onto my hand as well.

'Ron this is my cousin…'

'Miranda' Harry frowned,

'That is way too much of a mouthful, you can be called Miri.'

Ron grinned at me,

'Told you I was right!' I was so happy I didn't bother to tell him off but hugged him.

'This is Fred, George and Percy.' I hugged Fred and George, but shook Percy's hand, he looked relieved.

'And this is Ginny' I turned and saw a girl my age who had gone quite red with being spoken to by Harry. I smiled at her and hugged her too. I whispered in her ear, correctly guessing what was going through her mind,

'I'm just Harry's cousin, don't worry.' She grinned at me, instantly overcoming her shyness and whispered back

'Good, otherwise I would have to kill you.' We broke down into giggles and she plonked herself down next to me. I looked down the table and saw Fred and George winking at each other

'What is it George, have you got something in your eye?' He grinned and said

'No, I'm Fred, just been introduced and don't know our names?' I glared at him, he was George. I grabbed a pen from the table and marched up to them. I drew a large G on George's cheek and a large F on Fred's cheek. They looked horrified, the rest of the table started to laugh. Just then I knew I liked this family.

Hmm…..this is a bit pointless this chapter, oh well enjoy!

Review and check out my other stories!

Luv Iona

xx


	4. Is this your house?

This is your house?

Why hello! Thanks soooo much to my reviews! Thanx to every1 who has reviewed especially my new one-

**deepred316- **Thanks I am glad u enjoy it!

**I don't any of this, I just enjoy messing wiv there lives!**

ON with the story…

'We all have to get our school stuff today Mum, it is 2 days till we have to go back to school' wined ron.

'I know dear, we are going today.' She turned to my mother,

'would you like to go with us?'

'Yes!' I replied 'and you can all come round to our house in London for today and tomorrow, before we get on the train.' Harry, Ron and Ginny grinned at me and said that they would love to. Mrs. Weasley frowned though and said

'There are a lot of us though dear, are you sure we can all fit in?'

'Of course all of you will fit in, you won't even have to share, if you don't want.' I replied. My mother then spoke up for the first time

'You must all come round, I'll just go and speak with my husband and the servants.' She threw some floo powder into the fire and stepped in. Immediatley George, Fred and Ron rounded on me

'You have servants? How rich are you?'

'Which one do you want me to answer?' I demanded, of course we had servants.

'Both, would be nice' said George with a glare.

'Those pens are quite useful!' I said sweetly. 'We have 25 servants and we are very rich.' Just then my mother popped back out of the fire.

'He'd love you all to come, just step into the fire and shout the Strand palace' The Weasley's all ran toward the stair to get there luggage from their room, and all of them were down within 10 minutes and by the fire. One by one they stepped towards the fire and gradually all flooed to the Strand. I clung onto Harry's arm and we went together last.

When we got there we found the whole family staring around in wonder. I marched to the door and pressed the bell for the servants. Immediately 3 servants came to the door,

'Becky, could you please check that all of the guestrooms are ready to receive visitors.' She curtsied and went.

'John, can you please take all the luggage to the rooms. Mrs. Weasley and Mr. Weasley will be in the 3rd suite. Fred will be in the blue room. George will be in the red room. Ginny will be in the 4th suite. Ron will be in the maroon room. Percy will be in the 5th suite. I will be in m usual room, and Harry will be in the Green room. There names are on there luggage.' He bowed, called 2 other men and they started to take the luggage up to the rooms I had allocated.

I turned to the family and asked them if they had memorised their room. They all replied that they had, and we set off.

'You don't need to remember were any of the bathrooms are because all the rooms are en-suite' I called as they all followed me up the stairs,

'As if we'd expect anything less' Fred said sarcastically. I turned, glared at him and then continued. We finally reached the first bedroom floor and I stopped.

'On this floor we have Mr and Mrs Weasley, Percy and my parents.' They nooded and I pointed out there rooms. The rest of the family followed me to the top floor of the attic. When we got to the top of the stairs, we reached a massive sitting room and games room. They all sighed,

'This is great' said Harry flopping onto a couch and turning on the T.V. ' we are gonna have loads of fun!'

Short and extremely pointless.

Please review!

Luv Iona


	5. Chapter 5

Miss Potter?

Might actually get on to buying a wand now…

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About half an hour later, when the Weasley's had finally finished checking out the T.V and Ginny and I had got changed into something lighter (it was hot outside) the housekeeper came up to tell us it was Lunch. I nodded in dismissal and we went down to lunch. We ate a really lovely lunch in the conservatory, of sea bream in a creamy celery sauce.

When we finished, we all left for Diagon alley. On the way there, we kept meeting a lot of my father's friends and I had to bow and curtsey. Harry was also formally introduced to a lot of them. He kept making me and Ginny giggle, as when he bowed he always went very red.

About ten minutes later we finally reached the pub 'the leaky caldron'. It was absolutely disgustingly dirty and I didn't want to go in. Harry dragged me in though, and I bet he wished he hadn't. As soon as we got in thousands of people came and shook his hand. Then they all wanted to be introduced to me as well.

When I had curtsied and shaken loads of people's hands, we finally managed to leave, saying we had to meet someone. The Weasley's were waiting quietly on the edge of the crowd with my mother. They all looked slightly cross. We went outside to a disgusting court yard with rats scuttling under our feet. Mrs. Weasley pulled out a long stick, which I assumed was her wand. My mother however spoke up

'Molly dear, can I do it? I haven't done it in so long.' Molly giggled and moved out the way. My mother tapped a few of the more worn down bricks in the wall of the courtyard. I turned to roll my eyes at the others, but they were all watching the wall intensely. I too looked at the wall and was astonished, the wall had transformed into a massive archway! A busy street was beyond.

Mrs. Weasley turned to us all briskly,

'First of all we will all go to Gringotts, and then we will do all the books, then we'll…' the list went on and on. I just stared at the street, it was vibrant, busy and everyone was laughing. There was an owl emporium, a potions store, a .. But Harry was dragging me along again and I didn't want to get lost. Ginny and I followed the rest of the party up the street to Gringotts, if that was what it was called. We reached the end of the street and ahead of us was a massive white building, with short, fat and very ugly creatures at the doors and serving inside. Ginny saw where I was looking and whispered

'Goblins' in my ear.

My mother beckoned me over and we stepped up to the counter. She gets a credit card out of her pocket and gives it too the Goblin. I recognise it as my credit card.

'Take all of the money off of there please and could you put it in a new volt please?'

'Mya' I heard a voice shout out behind me. There was Harry beckoning me over to where he was standing with a girl with bushy brown hair and brown eyes, about four shades lighter than mine. She was staring at me in shock. I walked over smiling

'Mya, I'd like you to meet my other best friend Hermione.' I grinned at her and gave her a hug. 'Hermione meet my cousin Mya.' She hugged me too and then turned on Harry.

'You never told me you had a cousin!'

'I only just met her this morning' she glared at him suspiciously like she didn't believe him. Then she turned to me and started telling me all she knew about Hogwarts, how to do charms and transfiguration. She was really nice and about 30 minutes later, when my mother had finished transferring money, got my money and the Weasley's had got there's and Harry had got his as well. I was still chatting to her about the finer points of wand movement. She was showing me, how to correctly say and perform the levitating charm (wingardiam-Leviosa (sp?)). Ron came to get us and we followed him outside, where we stood blinking in the sunlight.

Ginny came up to Hermione and I and said to me

'Your mother wants to buy my school books for me as a present for the last few years of not being here, because she is my godmother, but my mum won't let her. So can me and you go and buy wands? Your mum is defiantly going to be buying the whole family new wands, but I don't want everyone to be there when I get mine.'

'Okay' I replied and asked Hermione if she wanted to come with us.

'No' she replied, 'I'll stay here.' I went up to my mum and grabbed a bulging purse of Gallons.

'Ginny and I are going to buy wands mum, we'll meet you in the book shop.' She nodded and continued arguing with Molly. I linked arms with Ginny and we walked off to Oleanders.

A few minutes later, we were standing in the shop, ringing the bell. A wizened man with large classes and large yellowy blue eyes.

'What can I do for you ladies?'

'We'd like to buy wands please' I replied. He flicked is wand at too tape measures on the desk and then turned back to me.

'I remember your mother's wand, lovely wand that one. The measuring tapes came back to him and he caught them deftly. He put them down on the desk. Then he went out the back, carrying about six boxes of wands.

'Ms. Weasley' he gave a long wand to Ginny. 'Willow, 32 inches, unicorn hair. Good for charms.'

Ginny gave it a flick. The whole room was bathed in a white light and Ginny shone brightly.

'Wow Gin, that was great'.

'Now, Mrs. Potter. I am asking you to try a very rare and beautiful wand. It is brilliant for defence against the Dark Arts, transfiguration and charms. It is a wand much sort after by many wizards, but remember, the wand chooses the wizard!' With that long speech he gave me a long black wand. I gripped it and gave it a little wave. Immediately, the whole room went black apart from me and the wand, we shone with a shimmering dark blue light.

'ahh.. A silver dragon scale' Ginny gave a little gasp '42 inches, bogwood.' Ginny gave another gasp, 'a perfect pair with you Miss. Potter.'

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I will now be skipping ahead to 1st year were we will hear about one or two lessons and the chamber of secrets.


	6. Percy did you know that

**Learning about Percy **

I decided to miss out the rest of the shopping, as it would be a bit boring, and you all know about the diary going in Ginny's cauldron so I do not need to tell you. I am going to try to update at least 3 times before I go on holiday, and put another oneshot up…. (Help!)

I was a bit stuck for ideas in this chapter so I am very sorry if it is very rubbish!

Luv

Ionalama

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The next day we all got up late and lazed around in the sitting room on our floor for a while. Hermione had come round to my house as well and was teaching Ginny and I spell, Wingardeam Leviosa, wrist movement and how to say it. Harry, Ron, Fred and George were playing on the playstation. Harry was wining easily, because Fred, Ron and George didn't really understand how to play and kept crashing the car. I sat down next to George and snatched the set away from him

'you're going to break it if you keep doing that!'

We spent the afternoon laughing, eating and playing play-station, before packing our trunks and going to bed, after much urging by Mrs. Weasley and my mother.

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The next morning we were up a 5:00, so we could get the best seats on the train. I woke up and then stumbled to my bathroom. After 20 minutes under hot water I felt much more human and was able to pick out some nice blue jeans, a kookai top and some jewelled Indian shoes before dragging my trunk to outside my room where one of the servants would be collecting it from later. I dumped it and wandered in to the floors sitting room and saw Ginny lying flat out on the floor with her eyes closed. I shook her, and got no response. I then dragged her down the stairs to the breakfast room.

Percy was sitting there with his large badge, which now read 'humongous bighead'. I didn't know Percy very well at the moment and thought he was as nice as the rest of the Weasley's.

'Percy, did you know that..' George looked up and winked at me. I understood but Percy was still looking at me bewildered.

'What should I know Mya?' he asked

'Your drink has gone a funny colour.' I replied with a perfectly straight face.

'Of course it is a funny colour-orange, it is orange juice.'

'It's not' I replied winking at Fred and George as they put green flavouring and some other liquid in. 'I think you must be colour blind Percy.' He glared at me as Harry, Ron, Ginny, Fred and George snorted very loudly.

'Look Mya,' he said turning round 'it's….green! I am very sorry, I never should have argued with you. It was so very rude of me, you are my hostess.' I started to cry with laughter, he looked shocked at having offended me so much. I decided to play it for all it was worth.

'Pe-rcy, I-I'm so-sorry-I….' Fred and George came up behind me and put there arms around me,

'How could you Percy, so young and already been upset by you.' Percy looked absolutely horrified now and Harry faking anger jumped to his feet

'How dare you offend my cousin? I challenge you to a duel, no-one upsets my fair cousin and lives.' Percy fled the room and we all broke down in laughter, Ron in particular looked as if he was going to asphyxiate. Even Hermione who enjoyed talking to Percy a lot was giggling quietly.

Finally we all stopped laughing, the rest continued with there breakfast whilst Ginny and I collected food from the buffet that was laid out.

About 15 minutes later we all left the table and made our way to the entrance hall. My mother was waiting for us and directing the servants putting the trunks in the car.

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Just a little filler when I had no time!

Luv

ionalama


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